You Don't Have to Know Them Intimately to Minister to them

I came across a recent post in Meta Facebook that brought memories to the top of my mind that I haven't thought about for over twenty years. This clean link is a post about a man in a nursing home. His family does not visit him very often apparently. And though he does not want to worry his family, he is getting pretty lonely.

When I read his post, the memories of my past made me a little teary-eyed. The reason for my teary eyes was the realization that I'm probably just a few years behind this gentleman.

The fact is, this post about 89 year old Joseph, reminded me of the Bible Study Mission to nearby nursing homes that I initiated for our church's singles ministry over 20 years ago. You can ready what he said in his post by clicking his Facebook; otherwise, this is what he wrote:

“Today is my 89th birthday.

My name is Joseph, and I am sitting here, in a retirement home, with a plate of dumplings in front of me. I don't know who made these for me, nor who will wish me a happy birthday today. I have three kids but haven't seen them in a long time. They brought me here telling me it was for my own good, but time goes by, and the phone does not ring.

I am not angry, I am sad.

Sad because, deep in my heart, I never stopped loving them, despite their absence.

Sad because I don’t ask for much: just a hug, a word, a “Happy Birthday, Dad.”

I just wish somebody would remember me today.

If you’re reading this message, give me a thought. Not because you know me, but because even a stranger can bring some warmth where there is silence.

At my age, you live on memories and hope.

And today, my hope is that this message gets to the hearts of those who have forgotten to value affection, before it is too late.”

To all the dads and grandfathers that have been left alone, best wishes. You are loved, even if sometimes they don't tell you.

I had come across the need for a nursing home ministry when I was a consultant to Bristol Meyers to give them marketing feedback about incontinence devices they were working on for nursing homes.

As I went around talking with nursing home staffs and their patients, I was brought to my knees often in realization of what this gentleman points out. I came across too many examples exactly in the same mindset as this gentleman. The nursing home staffs pointed out specific examples of tenants who hadn't been contacted by any of their family members for several years worth of Birthdays, Valentines Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. I remember coming across one elderly man curled up in his bed in a defensive ball not allowing the nursing staff to touch him and I saw the staff actually manhandle him to put on his incontinent diaper. Their tight grips and slips left bruises on his arms and legs because of the blood thinners he was on.

Visions of that scene were in my mind long after that experience. So, I asked our single adults to join me in providing Sunday Church services and Bible Studies for their elderly dwellers, as I had met many men and women experiencing similar loneliness described by his post. The Lord blessed the reach-out effort when ten to fifteen of my single adult members joined me on several occasions.

I vividly recall one elderly woman described by nursing staff as having no interest in Bible study or Sunday service and thus that I shouldn't waste my time with her. She was sharing a room with another lady who was described as someone who would surely have an interest. I went into their room and invited the lady that the staff referred to me. The other lady in the room stayed in her wheelchair by her bed with her head down. As I went in, I in a spritely and cheery manner, "Hi ladies; I just wanted to invite you both to a praise and worship service that our single adults want to share with you in about an hour. Let me know if you need any help in joining the fellowship." One of the ladies, the one who the staff suggested would probably have an interest, said, "Oh, yes, oh yes, I'd love to come." One of the nursing home staff members started rolling her into the praise and worship room.

The other lady in her wheelchair said nothing and purposefully avoided my gaze and attention. "O.K", I thought silently.

As I gingerly tiptoed out of the room, just before closing the door, the other lady asked, "Are you a Baptist?"

The question stopped me in my tracks. I turned to find her looking at me. "Hello, ma'am, how are you doing today, it is so good to talk with you," I answered. "Why, it just so happens that I am a Baptist. I didn't say anything else right away when she said, "I - AM - TOO," pointedly. "Would you honor me by letting me escort you to our service?" I asked. "Oh, no, no way; I would never do that," she said.

I took that as an opportunity to explain that this praise and worship was open to anyone wanting to know our Lord Jesus Christ better, answer any questions you may have, listen to your needs and desires so we can pray with and for you as we gather to praise and worship Him.

I nearly choked when she said, "Well," matter of factly, "I just don't like to be exposed to the "riff-raft." I went and sat by her and asked her what verse or verses she enjoyed and remembered in the Bible.

For the next hour, before the praise and worship service that other nursing home residents were escorted into the service room, this wonderful lady shared verses in Psalms from memory without needing to refer to her Bible, and she and I had our own little service, which ended with her and me praying together and thanking Jesus for caring enough about her to send someone like me to visit with her when she hadn't seen her own family in so long. She surprised me with a hug without my asking.

Yep. You can imagine the tears I cried after leaving her room, and the tears that come to my eyes even today as I remember it and read this gentleman's post above.

After that visit and after I shared my experiences to single adults at my church, the number of single adults doubled in subsequent services. Word got around to other nursing homes that began calling to request our praise and worship services at their facilities.

Today, I wonder how far away in years I might be before I experience a similar loneliness of elders before me, like that man curled up in a little ball and elegant lady that did not want to join with others for whatever reasons. You don't even have to know them to minister to them and care about them. You and I could be them in a few years.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 - "For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires, and they will turn their ears away from the truth and will turn aside to myths."

After 30 years of trying to be a Christian without any discipleship at all, Christ through the Holy Spirit was gracious enough to minister to me for the next 30 years after I came to Him on my knees for His help in learning about Him and His Word. And He continues to minister to me to this day.

 

This posting is copyright protected by Creative Commons requirement that credit must be given to the creator and allowances are given to only noncommercial uses of the work are permitted.  Any adaptations of and to it must be shared under the same terms.